Deadpool Adventures
by The Dark Knight 55
Summary: Join Deadpool in his adventures and the search for an artifact . See how he changes the stupid future and saves the world one more time and faces criminals and other heroes
1. Prologue

I DO NOT –

" Yeah yeah shut up and just present me already !" said a wildly known and so damn annoying voice

" **FINE **.. if you prefer the boring way … " said The Dark Knight 55 while not feeling appreciated ( FUK this ! I am not gonna use 3rd person while talking about myself !)

" Idiot " replied the unknown voice

" Psycho "

" Bitch "

"Asshole! "

" Motherfucker!"

" SHIT BAG!"

" Fucking asshole!"

" **GAY bitch ! "**

" **YOU PIECE OF M$^%&amp;* *$(%* #)$%*%)#*%*(#$*( ! " **

" Anyway….. back to the Prologue . I present you the … ahh oh yeah … I present you the most fucking awesome dude ever , the most beloved and ultimately marvelous character in Marvel Universe . Who wrote this shit ? Well yeah the merc with a mouth , Wade Wilson , the incredible **DEADPOOL **. So You wanna give us a private interview mister Deadpool ? " said I while was feeling … **Hey ! WAIT A SEC ! I** **don't have to tell you how I fucking feel . I AM NOT YO PUPET !**

" Hello ! Hello ! It is a pleasure to be here . Now this is a story so you can't see my beautiful face . I am the most awesome SuperHero / Villain / Badass cool guy ever existed . I am here on … Fanfiction ?! Who came up with this name ? Anyway I am here to entertain you with my incredible … OH for F*** sake . Listen up buddy . I just got my story and I will do whatever I want , whenever I want ! So sit on your chair, grab some popcorn and some body-armor cuz shit is just getting real ! Author !... end this prolo-poop and let's go see Chapter 1 . " said Deadpool trying to make himself look important

" Ahh … Well sorry for everything he said and sorry if he hurt anyone's feelings . First of all do **NOT** read this story if you are easily offended . Anyway , see ya next Fryday ! " said I , hoping that I won't have to suffer because of what this shit just said and trying to give this prologue a decent ending

**Deadpool's note : HAHA he typed fryday . Go back to school idiot ! See ya all dudes . Don't forget to press that fav story , follow story things or I am coming for you and I am gonna kill you all **** .**


	2. Chapter 1:Contract

I DO NOT –

" I TOLD YOU I DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT PART IN MY STORY ! Give me some action!" said Deadpool , making me angry

" OH! You want action? Well you FUCKING GOT IT !..." said I , with an incredible rage , not able to control myself

Chapter 1 : Contracts

Deadpool was now staying in front of … 3 no no … 4 helicopters with rockets and machineguns . The **machineguns and rockets **were aiming for him .

"Deadpool , put your hands in the air and throw away all your weapons ! " said one of the guards

"Ok I will put my hands in the air after I throw all my weapons … including grenades … " said Deadpool while looking at the screen - "Woah Woah , screen ?! " said Deadpool again " –"YES , Screen , you got an invisible flying camera that shows me whatever you do … " said I , trying to repair the situation .

Deadpool threw the swords , the sais , the guns … He grabbed 4 grenades and threw them away right into the helicopters that exploded . He grabbed his weapons and ran away to the main office where his **contract **was .

(Flash back ) :

Deadpool was sleeping on his armchair , in his apartment … fucking dirty apartment … with a pizza slice on his face and a bottle of vodka in his hand . Suddenly he heard a sound coming from his computer . He went back on his feet scared like shit . He grabbed his swords and went in another room where the computer was . He looked around and …

" Well it seems no one is here . Let's check on twitter …" said Deadpool while dropping his swords to the ground

Deadpool had a message coming from … someone **(me) **.

The Dark Knight 55 : You got a new contract idiot . Enough "action" for you ? **(HEY reader , I did this ** **cuz it is on Twitter , got it ? )**

(somewhere on a fucking tall building 5:00 PM )

(Flash back ended )

Deadpool was now standing in front of 20 guards with rifles and …. grenade launchers … yeah oh and … rocket launchers ! What a great idea … ah … I mean … Anyway :

" Put your weapons down !" said one of the guards

" No thanks ." responded Deadpool

" We will shoot!" said the guard

" Whatever dude … You better surrender and go cry to mommy . NOW " said Deadpool trying to intimidate his enemies

" I said put your weapons down! WE WILL SHOOT YOU IF NEEDED ! "

"Wrong answer buddy …"

Deadpool picked up his gun and shot him in the face . The rest of the guards tried to shot him but he made back flip and threw a grenade that killed 7 more guards . Deadpool grabbed his swords and went to cutting . He jumped in the air and threw one in a guard's neck then grabbed the gun a shot another guard and landed a flying kick in another guard , knocking him out . He took the sword from the guard's neck and ran to another . He dodged all the bullets and hit him in the neck with the sword . The head flew away and hit a guard in the face . When he wiped the blood away he saw Deadpool putting a word in his gut and then the other one in the face . Deadpool jumped in the air and made a spin , cutting another guard in two pieces . He threw one of his swords in a guard's heart . He cut a guard's arm and grabbed it . He hit another guard with the arm **(the arm that was cut in the last sentence ) **and then cut his head . He grabbed the other sword that was in the guard's hearth . He grabbed the sais and jumped in front of the guard , hitting him in the eye with one of them . The last two guards were trying to run , but Deadpool threw a grenade at them .

Deadpool ran to the door made out of metal .

" Hmm … How should I open this shit ? " Deadpool thought to himself

" You need some C4s … " said I , giving him an advice

" Good idea ! Give me some . "

" Say the magic word… "

" Fuck you ? "

" NO dumbass . The other magic word…"

" AHHH! Please ? "

" There you go !"

Suddenly , a box full of C4s appeared besides Deadpool .

" Thanks " said Deadpool

" You welcome . Now back to the story !"

Deadpool placed 56 C4s on the door

" Take cover bitches!" yelled Deadpool with no reason

Deadpool ran away and detonated the bombs that conveniently only destroyed the door and not the hole fucking building . He ran in and now he was standing in front of …

\- " Hey you ! Yeah you! Give me a big criminal from Marvel Universe . The kind of guy that got a big company and he is like only staying in his office and is eating cupcakes all day . You know a big crime boss or something . " The Dark Knight 55 yelled to his slaves

" What about Silver mane? " said one of them

"That works . Good thing I came up with that great idea ! Back to the story …" -

He ran in and now he was standing in front of Silver mane .

"Silver Mane ? What the hell ? This guy is a no one ! Give me someone more important !" Said Deadpool pretty ashamed of how the story was going like "

" Dude , when you signed that contract you agreed to do whatever I want! So fucking kill him in a EPIC mode or you are fired! There are many other characters that I can do stories about so … " said I , making Deadpool feel like a useless shit

" **FINE YOU B*TCH ! "**

" I am a man … "

" Prove it ! "

" What ! Eww NO ! "

" Yeah well … BACK TO MY STORY ! " yelled Deadpool while looking at the s—

"I grabbed my gun a—"

"Hey that is my job! "

Deadpool grabbed his gun and shot Silver Mane in the shoulder . He grabbed him by the neck , threw him on his own desk and put a C4 on him . He shot the window and threw him away . He blew him up while he was free falling .

" Fireworks " said Deadpool with an evil smile on his face

"Evil smile ? Really " said Deadpool trying to make me angry , I mean , angrier than I am

**Author's Note : Well that was pretty much the first chapter … I hope you enjoyed it . Btw I do not have slaves . Only racists got slaves , I am not racist . Anyway see ya next time . I hope you enjoy the story and that fact that I am the second most important character in this story **** happy face **, said our gay and incredibly high narrator …

"SCREW YOU DEADPOOL ! "

" Ooops , gotta go guys ! See ya all next time ! " said Deadpool while running from a bear with wolverine claws , a chainsaw , a flame thrower , a jetpack and a rocket launcher with mini-Nukes

"OH ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME ? IT WAS A MISTAKE ! I SWEAR ! " said Deadpool when a flame just burned his ass

" STOP DOING THIS ! " said Deadpool while being cut in two by the chainsaw

" Next time , keep your mouth closed " said your fav author in the world , while taking another sip form his glass of Sprite with no ice …


	3. Chapter 2 : Happy Birthday

"Hi guys! It's me , Deadpool . Ok ,we don't have much time . Today , it is an important day for my "friend". Today , he is celebrating his birthday , so I thought , if we give him a gift , he might do a chapter where I will be the author and do whatever I want . Soooooo… guess what I bought … , said I (Deadpool) , Nothing…. "

Bonus Chapter : Happy Birthday

"Ok , I have no idea what to buy , so …. I made a LIST WITH USEFUL IDEAS!"

1.)Hack into his computer ( already did) and see what he likes = more ideas

2.)Get him a incredibly violent videogame with lots of blood moments

3.)Use fireworks to write his name on the sky

4.) Have a giant party

I grabbed my list and looked at my brilliant ideas again .  
"I think 1.) might actually be very useful "

I closed Microsoft Office Word 2007 and accessed every other thing on his computer . I found some downloaded songs and from what I saw , he loves to watch youtube videos . That two things gave me an incredible idea , to make a MUSICAL VIDEO!

But then I realized there is no way I can make a musical video in 5 hours , so … I crossed 1.) from the list.

"1 down , 3 left "

I took my coat and my classic detective hat and left the apartment . I went to the nearest video game shop . I opened the door and got in . I saw some cool videogames , but then I realized that he had all of them so I crossed 2.) from the list .

I left the shop sad . I asked a civilian if he knows any place that got fireworks for sale but he just said "Get away from me weirdo ! " and ran away .

After one hour of searching I got bored of the third idea and crossed 3.) from the list . There was only one idea left , but this was the best one .

I went back home and threw my hat and coat on the ground . I grabbed my night club list , but then I realized he is not that kind of guy so I just used the giant party room invented by me with the help of the author magic . I my phone and started to call people .

"Hey Spidey! Hey I got a friend and I will organize a surprise party for him . Wanna come? " said I

"Yeah , ahhh …. Sure… I am gonna be there " said your friendly neighbor hood Spiderman

" Good , let me give you the address oh and one more thing , bring everyone that you ever met in your life , yeah I would really appreciate ! " said I before giving him the address

"Hey Cap! Come to my surprise party for a friend . Bring whoever you want ! Gonna send you an email with the address ! Thanks a lot ! " said I before closing the phone

And that is pretty much what I did in the next 2 hours …

"Here we are . Everyone is in here waiting for the special guest . 20 more minutes before he arrives . What could possibly go wrong ? " said I , not expecting that 5 words can make paradise turn in hell …

I looked back to see Spiderman yelling at Ms. Marvel about some shit . Right next to them I saw Wolverine pop up his claws , ready to jump at Hulk . Iron man blasted Hulk and Logan then I saw how Captain America's shield hit Tony in the face , causing him to fall on the floor . Iron man flied straight at Cap and punched him in the face then Hulk grabbed Tony by the leg and threw him on the table with snacks . The nachos landed right in Ms. Marvel's hair that got angry so she punched Spidey in the nose . Thor hit Hulk with his hammer then got blasted down by Cyclops . Black Widow kicked him in the face , just to get thrown away by Jean Grey with her telekininisess .

And the party that had to be a gift for my friend transformed into a super hero battle . I let a sigh out , picked my swords and jumped in the middle of the fight …

I got ripped in two by Colossus and Beast and fell to the ground . Right then , I saw the door opening and my dear Dark Knight 55 entering the room where I was having a "perfect party" with a "what the fucking hell " expression on his face . It was clear , I screwed up ….

"DEADPOOL! #)($%)#_(+()%}_$()%" yelled my friend

That got the attention of everyone. The fight suddenly stopped and everyone , including me got a "we are dead " expression on our faces .

"GET THE F*CK OUT ! " said The Dark Knight 55

Everyone ran out of the room as quick as possible . I managed to get my legs back just to see how my friend starts to use telekinisess on me and throw me in the walls .

"What have you done!? " said my friend

"Sorry … " said I

"You almost killed all the people that that I was working with! I lost half or more of my marvel characters! "

"It can't be that bad … right ? "

"Look behind you ! Ms. Marvel got a bullet in her head! Cyclops got ripped in two and Silver Sable lost one leg and both her eyes! "

" Ouch … look , I didn't plan this . I have no idea how this happened anyway . I just wanted to get you a gift , so you could make me the author for one of the chapters … "

"You psychopath ! You just wrote one! "

"Did I ? Yeah … Yeah I did!"

"NO ! "

"No? "

"NO! I am not going to post this shit! "

" Oh come on! Look at that reader . Look at his sad puppy eyes ! Please! "

"Ok , fine . I will post this , and I will make you the author for one of the chapters but…"

"Oh here comes the but… "

" … You will clean the mess after each chapter ."

"WHAT!?"

"Hey , you either do what I said or get fired . "

"Why did I organize this party anyway!?"

"Now , you better start clean up the mess , loser . "

**Author's Note : Deadpool started to clean the mess . It was a lot of fun watching him . Anyway , see ya next time!**


	4. Chapter 3 : The Chimichanga temple part1

I DO –

" I SWEAR ! IF YOU SAY THAT SHIT ONE MORE TIME , I AM GONNA BLOW YOUR FUCKING HEAD ! " said the angry voice of Deadpool

Chapter 2 : The Chimi Changa temple (part 1)

Deadpool was sitting on his armchair , watching TV . Just another normal day in the completely not normal life of Deadpool . He picked up the remote and closed the TV .

" I am so bo-ho-ored . There is nothing at the TV . I didn't cold-blood kill anyone the entire week ! I feel I am going insane ! LOSE MY MIND ! FORGET WHO I AM AND START TO KILL EVRYONE ON THE STREET ! Oh wait , I did that last year . Anyway , something bad is going to happen . Bad bad bad bad bad bad , said De- , bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad bad… bad bad bad bad BAD BAD , **BAD!**"said Deadpool

"Well , you could read a book " said I trying to calm him down by giving him a occupation so he could let me think about what are we going to do in this chapter

"Neah , to boring " said Deadpool without hesitating

"Order a Pizza "

"To lazy to grab my phone "

"Watch a movie "

"There is nothing good at the TV "

"Play some video games "

"I broke my Xbox "

"Play computer games "

"I broke the keyboard "

"Find a girlfriend "

"Not ready for a relationship "

"Read some comics "

"The box where I store them is in my room and my dog just fell asleep in there and if I wake him up I will need to see a medic even if I got a healing factor , trust me , you do not want to wake him up when he sleeps "

"Clean your suits "

"You forced me to clean all of them 3 days ago . Remember? "

"Oh yeah , I remember . Anyway , cook something for dinner "

"Why would I do that ? You can make dinner without even moving a finger . You are the author "

"Take a nap "

"I don't need rest . I am 100% ready for action ! "

"Play with the toys , ah , I mean action figures "

"Neah , I did a giant fight between my Classic Deadpool figure and my wolverine figure in the morning and now I am to bored to do one more . By the way , I WON ! "

"Stupid idiot! Why am I working with this guy ? , I thought for myself , He is acting like he is 4 years old !"

"Go buy a chimichanga to eat " said I , hoping that the conversation will end soon

"BRILLIANT IDEA ! That is exactly what I am going to do! " said Deadpool right before he opened the door and ran away

Deadpool was traveling through city with an incredible speed . He was searching for the nearest place where he could find a chimichanga . He felt like his stomach was going start eat itself if he won't find one soon . Right then , he saw a guy that was selling Chimichangas . He was on the other side of the street . Deadpool ran to the guy , jumping over some cars and punching in the face the people that were standing in front of him . He didn't pay attention to the car that ran over a human from his fault . Deadpool got to the man in time and bought the last chimichanga .

"YES! I GOT IT ! " said Deadpool while giving the guy that sold him the chimichanga a bullet in the head instead of money

Deadpool started to kiss his beloved meal when he heard someone yelling "FREZE!" . The voice was coming from behind . Deadpool turned to see a cop pointing a pistol at his face .

"I said FREZE ! " said the angry cop

"Look buddy , I don't want problems soooooo…. Better put that gun down " said Deadpool trying to get out of his little problem without using force

"I said FREZE! PUT YOU ARMS BEHIND YOU HEAD! THIS IS THE LAST WARNING ! "

" Well , it seems it is one man VS one army time again "

Deadpool grabbed his sword and cut down the cop's hand then kicked him in the chest , sending him at the ground .

Many other cop cars arrived on the street . The cops got out of the cars and pointed their guns at Deadpool , yelling the same things the other guy said . Deadpool shot the chief in the head then performed a back flip and landed in a dark alley . He hid after a wall and tried to form a plan of how he could escape the cops . Suddenly , he got a brilliant idea ; kill them all …

He threw a grenade at the cop cars that blew up , together with the men .

A SWAT team just arrived at the place together with many other cop cars . They all pointed their guns at Deadpool and shot . Deadpool could see how to bullets were coming his way to fast and to many to dodge . He closed his eyes and waited for the hit …

The bullets stopped in midair and all fell to the ground .

"Wait , WHAT !? " said Deadpool , not understanding why he wasn't laying on the ground , in pain

"What ? You don't like being saved ? " said I , making a dramatic entrance in the last moment

Deadpool saw that everyone and everything wasn't moving , it seemed that they were frozen .

"How did you know I was here ? " said Deadpool

" I am writing all your actions idiot . Right now , I am writing this conversation " said I

"Oh , yeah …. So , you came to rescue me ? "

"No…. I figured out what are we going to do in the next chapter . We are going on the Changa Mountain!"

"Changa what ? "

"The Changa Mountain , the ancient temple of the Chimichangas ! "

"Never heard about it … "

"Yes , you never heard about it cuz I invented it right now , idiot … and yes , that means I sometimes write the title at the end … "

" Why would I need a ancient Chimichanga if I already got one? "

"Well because , 1.) It is the most delicious Chimichanga in the universe ! It will give you the powers of a CHIMI-CHUNGA fighter . You will be the most powerful thing in this universe , after me of course . ITS TASTE , IS SO GOOD THAT NO ONE CAN RESIST IT ! And 2.) your chimichanga fell on the ground "

"What ! , said Deadpool and looked at his chimichanga that was laying on the ground , NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! " yelled Deadpool at the sky after kneeling before his chimichanga that was laying on the ground , in a bath of blood and delicious sauce

**Author's Note : Ok , well ,this adventure is probably what the next 2 or more chapters are about so , let's see if Deadpool will be able to reach the ancient Chimichanga and defeat whoever stays in his way . **


	5. Chapter 4 : The Chimichanga temple part2

I-

WHAT WAS THAT! Said deadpool

Ah.. nevermind

Chapter 3 :The Chimi-Changa temple (part 2) :

Somewhere in a crossover between Africa and China –

WHAT? Said I

Please let me say it ! said deadpool

Ah fine whatever … said I

So , somewhere in a crossover between Africa and China—

Just to be clear aren't you a bit racist ? said I

NO! LET ME SAY IT ! said deadpool

Ok sorry … said I with a low voice

AHH … Somewhere in a –

Ok I am sure are being racist here—

FUK YOU ! SHUT THE FUK UP ! said Deadpool on a angry tone

SINCE WHEN DO U HAVE THE PERMISION TO SPEAK WHEN I DO?! Asked I with a bold and loud voice

U SUCK … said deadpool

WHAT WAS THAT! Asked I on a angry tone

Nothing , nothing , just forger it … said Deadpool a bit scared-

I ain't scared… said deadpool

I TOLD U TO SHUT UP! I yelled at him

Whatever … said deadpool

Ok , so , somewhere in a crossover between China and Africa—

U know that kinda makes no sense … said I

FINE! U know what ? U WRITE THIS SHIT! Said deadpool

HAHA gotcha bitch! Said I

What ? asked deadpool

IDK . said I

IDK ? asked deadpool like he didn't know what I meant

Yeah , I=I D=don't and K=know . said I

So u basically said ….. I … don't … know ? asked deadpool like a total idiot

Yeah u moron ! said I

ANYWAY LET'S GET BACK TO OUT SHEEPs !

WHAT THE FUK DID YOU JUST SAY!? Asked deadpool

Ahh ….. [SHORT MIND ERASING PROCESS] …. Ok now u won't remember anything

Remember what ? said deadpool

Nothing …

-[fuk that]—

Deadpool was know ready to jump from the plane with the parachute on his back . The plane was about at 5000000000…0000 feet high in the air and his parachute was made out of the worst parts of some second hand clothes that fell into lava—

Ok what the fuk are u talking about ? said deadpool

Oh … well this is the only story where I can use myself as a second most important character and use my retarded creativity … explained I to deadpool

So you are retarded ? asked deadpool almost about to start laughing

NO . You are retarded , I am a genius perfect guy with a great body and a kind soul . I am probably the most modest man in history too . said I

Whatever … so I have to jump ?... said deadpool with a not so happy voice

YES

Can we change this ?

NO

Deapool took a deep breath and got a nice base jumping position (lol)

I can't do it… said deadpool

No problem . said I

Serriously?

Yeah I am gonna push you

What?

I am gonna push you

Ahh—

I quickly shot deadpool with a bazooka so I could give him a nice boost . He dived through the air dodging possible dangerous encounters with birds for a couple of seconds . When he was 500 feet above the land he opened his parachute which was hit by a bird and spread into two useless pieces . Deadpool was now falling and screaming like a little girl . He hit a cold lake with a giant splash . He sinked to the bottom of the lake . The healing factor helped him regenerate so he could swim back up .

I teleported near the lake and saw deadpool coming up .

Why …. didn't u just let me teleport ? said deadpool with a tired voice

Cuz u suck … said I

Something weird was happening at the bottom of the lake . Some lights came out of the lake and suddenly deadpool was attacked by robot sharks with lasers

WHAT! Yelled deadpool

Hey what where you expecting ? said I with a disappointed voice

One shark opened his mouth and went up to deadpool , trying to bit him . Deadpool dodged and threw a grenade in its face –

[SHORT SHIT : for u smart guys out there , I know u might think the guns won't work after being in water for all that time , but fuk no . Guns work everywhere and in every situation ]

Two sharks hit Deadpool with the lasers , throwing him in the air . He landed near the lake , hitting a tree and breaking it into two pieces . A shark jumped out of the lake and opened his mouth . He was now diving trough the air on his way to eat Deadpool . Deadpool used the tree trunk to hit the shark in the face and throw him on a stone . He grabbed his guns and shot it till it exploded . The other sharks started to shoot at deadpool he ran around in a straight line performing back and front flips and dodging the lasers .

I NEED A BIGGER GUN! Yelled Deadpool at me

A rocket launcher appeared in front of Deadpool . He grabbed it and hid after a stone . He loaded it and jumped in the air , shooting the last two sharks with rockets . The explosions made a wave hit Deadpool. He landed in front of me .

Whoooah that was intence ! said Deadpool

Wanna eat marshmellows ? asked I

SURE!

Ok

A fire , two sticks , two little tree trunks , a giant tent with a giant TV a giant bed and a Xbox one console with lots of video game , a little tent with nothing in it and a bag of marshmellows appeared .

That was quick ! said Deadpool . I guess I get the big tent right ?

No .

Oh …

The moon was now high on the sky , literally "high" . I opened the bag of marshmellows with a portable giant chainsaw and put one on each stick . I gave deadpool a stick , threw the bag in the fire and threw it all into Deadpool . The hot melted marshmellows and plastic burned his entire face . He ran to the lake and jumped in the water . When he was about to exit the water I added a rocket to the little tent and launched it into Deadpool .

THAT IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN U MESS WITH ME BISH! Said I

**Ok that was it for today . Sorry for not posting in a really long time . Also lol , not being racist also that perfect guy examination thing was just for the story , just kidding .**

HA I KNEW THAT ! **said Deadpool ** . U SUCK

**GO FUK YOURSELF U RETARDED BISH . I AM GONNA HUNT U IN YO DREAMS! Yelled I to Deadpool **


	6. Chapter 5 : The Chimichanga temple part3

Deadpool gets hit in the head and knocked down

Wha..ahh … my head … said deadpool before falling to the ground

Ok now I can do it . said I

**I DO NOT OWN … AHH DANG IT I FORGOT WHAT TO SAY ! AH U GET IT ANYWAY …**

Chapter 4 : The Chimi-Changa Temple (part 3)

Ahh … what happened ? said deadpool right after coming back to his senses

Ahh … nothing … said I trying to cover my actions

What actions ? asked Deadpool

Dang it I got to explain less stuff … said I

ANYWAY - Back to our story :

Deadpool was walking through the forest . He hit a rock with his foot and fell over a bunch of leaves . He raised his head and looked in the front . Suddenly , he saw **it **. The **CHIMI-CHANGA Temple **was standing in front of him . He got back on his feet and ran to it yelling :

YES YES YES ! I FUCKING FOUND IT ! I FUCKING FOUND IT! CHIMICHANGAS CHIMICHANGAS CHIMICHANGAS CHIMICHANGAS !

Wait , wait a second … said I

What ? asked Deadpool

Wait a second … said I while typing

What are you typing ? asked Deadpool with a courious face

Courious face ? U can see it through the mask ? asked Deadpool

Ahh… just shut up and let me think . said I while typing more

What is it ?

Oh , I am sending a message to some guys .

Why and Who ? asked Deadpool a bit concerned

Oh … ahh some friends of yours .

Any hot girls ?

No.

Oh… any hot guys ?

No.

Shadow me ?

No .

Darth Vader?

No.

Mario?

No.

Wolverine?

No.

… (2 hours later)…..

Spy from TF2 ?

NO!

…..Cable ? said Deadpool in the end

YES … took you long enough

A lighting hit the ground and suddenly Cable was standing in front of Deadpool **(Deadpool videogame- Cable) **

CABLE ! yelled Deadpool happily while rasing his arms ready for a hug

Deadpool ran to Cable but Cable pointed his plasma gun at him and shot . The blast threw Deadpool meters away , causing him to hit a tree and break it in two .

Wtf ? Why would you do that ? said Deadpool

I am here to stop you from destroying the world . said Cable

What ?

In the future , you destroy the world with you Taco powers

OOOHH spoilers … whatever? Just step aside and let me enter the temple .

NO! yelled Cable . WADE YOU CAN NOT EAT THAT TACO!

WHAT! Yelled Deadpool angrier than ever . NO ONE , NO FUCKING ONE TELLS ME I CAN'T EAT MY CHIMICHANGAS , AND NOONE TELS THEM **TACOS! U WILLL DIIIDIDIIWAIEEEEE! #!#!#!**

Deadpool jumped at him and grabbed his swords . He hit the ground where Cable was standing before with one sword , then threw his other sword at Cable's gun , causing it to explode . The explosion threw Cable away . He got back on his feet and saw Deadpool jumping at him to hit him with the swords and landed one uppercut that threw him away , causing him to fall on the stairs of the temple . Cable grabbed a plasma grenade and threw it at Deadpool . He grabbed his gun and shot it , causing it to leave a giant amount of smoke around Cable . Deadpool used his ninja skills to get behind Cable and readied his sword to stealthy backstab him . Cable saw him and shot him in the chest right before Deadpool could hit him . The blast threw him away causing him to hit another tree .

Ahh … damn trees … said Deadpool half knocked out

Cable charged his biggest gun and shot Deadpool . He dodged the blast in the last second , but when it hit the ground it caused a giant explosion that took out a part of the forest and threw Deadpool in the front causing him to fall right into another uppercut form Cable . The hit caused him to fall on a rock . Cable approached him and pointed his gun at him .

I am sorry Wade … said Cable

No problem! said Deadpool while placing a C4 on the rock without Cable seing it . I wasn't going to eat that anyway ….

Cable charged his gun but Deadpool hit it with his foot , throwing it away . Deadpool punched Cable in the face which only made him angrier . He looked back at Deadpool with a angry look

Momy… said Deadpool a bit scared

Cable punched him in the face with his metal fist then punched him in the stomach so hard that it caused Deadpool to fall on his knees . Cable hit Deadpool with his foot , throwing him away . Cable ran to him , but right when he was near the C4 , Deadpool detonated it . The explosion threw him away . He fell on his back . He opened his eyes to see Deadpool standing over him .

Sorry Cabe … said Deadpool

Deadpool kicked him in the face causing him to black out . Deadpool grabbed his guns and walked to the stairs and stoped for a second . He looked up . It was nighttime . He then looked at the Chimichanga . It was standing there , waiting for him , floating and shining in a dumb way like in comic books , cartoon shows or video games if you preffer . Deadpool ran to it . He reached it , he was now standing in front of the Magic Chimichanga of Total Mexican Power . He grabbed it and raised it to the sky , causing a dumb lion king soundtrack to start playing and the camera to move around in circles getting closer and closer to him until it stopped right in front of him . Deadpool looked at the Taco—

CHIMICHANGA ! yelled Deadpool at me

Yeah … ah … Deadpool looked at his Chimichanga . He raised his mask just enough for him to be able to eat the T… Chimichanga . He took a deep shity bite , like he never ate something in his entire life . He then started to shine and float . He went up in the sky and shined like a star . He then looked back at his Chimichanga and put all that shit in his mouth at once without chewing it . He choked on it and died like a little baby . His body fell to the ground causing it to desinegrate because of magical shit . When he hit the ground a giant nuclear like explosion destroyed the world , with a annoying sound like you are going to find on youtube .

Deadpool respawned in the waiting area .

Where the hell am I ? asked him

In the waiting are … you died and destroyed the world so I have to create a new one where you can I

Oh… That sucks . said him . What are we gonna do now ?

Well …. It is **audition time** !


	7. Chapter 6 : Audition time

I DO NOT OWN ANY OF THE CHARACTERS THEY BELONG TO MARVEL . ME DOESN'T COUNT AS A CHARACTER , OR DOES IT ? WELL IF YES THEN I OWN IT .

Chapter 5 : Audition time

Hi there fellow readers . Here is your fav/not fav / I DON'T GIVE A FUK/ ! #$%^&amp;*() author . You might now that Deadpool's universe got destroyed so I have to repair it . Which I will . But until then , me and Deadpool have organized an audition for characters that want to appear in this story . So let us begin .

Me and Deadpool were standing on our chairs . I was looking at the clock while Deadpool was drinking coffee with his mask on . There was 1 minute left until 9'o clock am . I looked down to my list on the table to see who was the first one to enter the door . The clock beeped . I pressed a button on my special phone shit and said :

Audition time begins now , please enter the room .

The first one to enter the room was Cable .

Cable ! Hi there . Please take a seat ! said I

Ok thanks … said Cable a bit shy which was weird for him

Cable pulled the chair in front of me and sat on it .

So Cable … what do you have to offer ? asked I

What ? asked Cable

I mean why would I keep using you ?

Well , I already appeared in one chapter … and I am a popular character in Deadpool comic books . And I was in that awesome game .

True , you were , and I loved the game . You—

Hey Hey Hey , Cabey you need more arguments if you want to join me! Said Deadpool . First , how many guns do you have stored ?

5000 billion trillion rifles , pistols , plasma guns , laser guns , alien guns , human guns , portal guns , youtube disturber gun , grenade shotguns and rocket-miniguns … said Cable

Me and Deadpool looked at each oder for one second and got a decision really quick :

You in ! said both of us at the same time looking at Cable with a impressed and excited face

NEXTT! Yelled I

Cable left the room . Seconds later Gambit opened the door , sat on the chair an put his feet on my desk.

WHO THE FUK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE! Said I while pointing a rocket launcher at him .

Woah Woah no need to get to fithin little man . Good ol' Gambit just wants to talk ! said Gambit

How did you call me ?

Woah , don't get angry , we both know Gambit is a usless bitch but he is a fan favorite … said Deadpool trying to calm me down

I never thought you could think of business … said I

I do … apparently … said Deadpool a bit amazed of his new ability

Ok Gambit you in . said I . Now get your feet off of my desk before I erase you from existence .

Gambit left the room .

NEXT! Yelled I

Pheonix opened the door

OUT! Yelled I

But… said Deadpool

OUT! Yelled I

But … but

OUT ! yelled I

But she is hot … said Deadpool

GET THE FUK OUT U PSYCHOPATIC BISH !

Phoenix closed the door and ran on the hallway crying .

NEXT! Said I

Spiderman opened the door

Peter if you do not want to get shot in the face in the next chapter I suggest you get out . said I

Spiderman closed the door

NEXT! Said Deadpool

Sube-Zero opened the door and sat on the chair .

Subey ! What brings you here ? asked Deadpool

Well since I am dead in the MK story you are gonna write I kinda want to be in this one .

Wait , which one are you ? asked Deadpool

Oh .. ah … the little brother . said Sube-Zero

Oh , that one? I thought your big brother dies first ! said Deadpool

Not in this story , am I right Dark Knight ? . said Sube-Zero

Yes , also stop calling me that way … I am not cool enough to be Batman . said I

Well then how should I call you ? asked Sube-Zero

You know what forget that just call me anyway you like . said I

Ok . So …. you think I could get the role ? asked Sube-Zero

Ah… said I while turning to Deadpool and asking him . What do you think ?

He answered with : I don't know man …. you know what I would like doing fatalities and I like the theme song of MK .

I think we should take him in . said I

Yeah . said Deadpool

I turned back at Sube-Zero and said : Ok you in !

YES! Yelled Sube-Zero while getting up and raising his arms in the air . THANK YOU! Yelled him while getting out of the room and closing the door .

Wolverine entered the room .

HEY WOLVIE! MY FAVORITE STINKY DOG WITH CLAWS! Yelled Deadpool

Huh , better keep that mouth shut bob ! said Wolverine while getting his claws out .

Woah easy there mister trash bag … ehh this guy stinks in real life … said I

Shut up or I will kill you ! said Wolverine

HAHHAHHAHHHAHHHAHHAHAHSSHDHAHSHHDLAWO:HIHDAHO:W"OHOAHO:IOODA:HOWHO:IOHHO"DAWOIDOIWO"AIO"DIOHSIOHOIAWIOOIHDA"DHW{… etc .! laughed I at him

I fell on the floor and continued laughing while both Deadpool and Wolverine looked at me with confused expressions on their faces .

Anyway …. Said Deadpool , I guess I will get you and the X-men in one or two chapters so tell every other X-men out there waiting to leave . We will call you guys …

Ok bob … said Wolverine while getting out .

UUHAHHHAHHWWWWWWWWWWWWWOOOOOAHJJJJHAHSJQWERTYUIOPASDFGHJKLZXCVBNMHAHAHHAHAHH! #$%^&amp;*() HHHAHHAAHHA HA L.O.L HAHHHAHHA ! laughed I without stopping

I stopped from laughing and got back on my chair .

Ah… NEXT! Said I while taking a sip from my cup of coffee

Timi opened the door and sat on the chair . I spit all the coffee on him and said

TIMI! WTF are you doing in here!

Oh … ah … I wanted to be added as a character on this story … said him while sitting down and trying to get the coffee off his suit (btw he has the super hero suit on … that what I meant bleahbleah IHIGH bleah) .

Why do you want a role in MY story !? said Deadpool . YOU ALREADY HAVE YOUR OWN STORY AND YOU GOTTA HAVE A SEQUEL TOO YOU PSYCHOPAT KILLER WHO WANTS MORE AND MORE FAME!

Whoa easy there Deadpool … I thought you could be in my story too . said him

Oh ok then you in ! said Deadpool . BUT…. I have some questions :

What is your real name

What are your super powers/gadgets

Will you do as I say

And wtf is wrong with your name?

Oh ah …. Well Timmy Philips , fuk dat , sure and well that is a big background story that literally makes no sense , like the other ones . said Timi

Oh that is easy , you name is Timi and not Timmy because it all began as a grammatical mistake that I discovered at chapter 5 cuz I was lazy and tired . I kept the name from who knows what reasons but I am gonna come up with a retarded and nonsense backstory like you said . explained I to both of them

Ok then you in ! said Deadpool

GREAT! said Timi

Ah also , you think you could make me a forth wall breaking character ? asked Timi

NO! said I

But…

NO!

Ok…. Said Timi a bit disappointed … a bit more …. a bit mooore than that … no that is too much , a bit less…. a bit bit more … THERE , perfect , that is exactly how disappointed he was

Timi got out of the room and closed the door .

Daredevil entered the room

You already have a role in Timi's story so get out! Said I

He got out and closed the door .

WOOH … let me see … said I while checking my list . Well The Avengers are on the list ….

I pressed the button from my special phone shit and said :

This is a message for The Avengers , get the fuck out before I give Deadpool a nuclear-rocket-minigun and assign him to hunt you off .

My voice was heard on the corridor because of the speakers placed out there . (in case you didn't get that already)

Well …. only 2 persons left … said I . NEXT!

Silver Sable entered the room .

YOU IN! said Deadpool

Really ? Is your boss ok ? asked her

Yeah I am … you were going to get ripped in 2 pieces anyway … bish . said I

Yeah … also he is not my boss , this is my story! Said Deadpool

Whatever …. said her while getting out .

Ok… one left ! said I

The door got kicked down . A half naked man only wearing shorts a cape and a bit of leather armor and some sandals with a sword a spear and a shield and a angry face with black short hair and a black beard and a light scar on the eye entered the room .

THIS IS SPARTA!

**Author's note : Ok I hope you enjoied that , btw Leonidas was accepted lol . Next chapter will be "special" and by that I mean retarded like all the others . Also , I don't really write this story for fame , I am having fun and I can actually do whatever I want in it , no matter what . That is the benefit of 4****th**** wall breaking . I hope you enjoyed . **


End file.
